Christmas Wish
by Munchkin1978
Summary: Edward left. It's been 3 months and Christmas is fast approaching. She is still pining away for Edward to come home. Will she get her wish? Will she get her Christmas Wish? Will he come back for her like she wants? BXE with others Fourth story R&R please
1. Chapter 1

**All characters are Stephenie Meyers. I don't own them I wish I did ;o)**

**Well this is my new story. I had a little bit of writer's block the other day so I started writing this story. This takes place after Edward leaves but before she snaps out of her zombie mode. It's called Christmas Wish. Will Bella get her Christmas Wish? Read on….**

**~munchkin1978**

**

* * *

  
**

**Christmas Wish**

**Chapter 1**

Charlie tried to ship me to Florida. I wouldn't go. I wouldn't leave. I wouldn't leave Forks. I couldn't. I had to be here when he returned. He had to come back for me. He had to. I couldn't survive without him.

I sat up in the bed. I felt the cool breeze run across my skin as if he was here. As if he was caressing my arms, my cheek, my hair. I looked at my window and watched the tree blow outside. Then it started to snow. The ultimate cold. Snow. I could have buried my self in the snow. If it got me back to him right away. I knew somewhere in my sub-conscience that it would never work. I had to become one of them. I had to have the venom.

Every night I left the window open. Just in case the off chance that he would come back to see me. To tell me he loved me still. To tell me he returned for me. I got up and watched the snow fall. The flakes were to perfect. Crystal white and pale. They were pale. They were perfect. He was perfect. I closed the window and cried again.

I cried most nights now. I had constant night mares. I always woke up crying. The further away from September the worse it got as I frequently heard Charlie tell the doctors he hauled me too. There was nothing wrong with me. I knew that but apparently he didn't.

It was the end of November. I hadn't even been in Forks for more than 10 months. Not even a year and I was…. Well I wasn't entirely with it as some people called it. I went to school, did the work, came home and sat on my bed. I didn't go out. I didn't read. I didn't listen to music. Everything reminded me of him. School reminded me of him. Science class reminded me of him. My scar reminded me of him.

_My scar_.

The pale half moon shape on my hand. The reminder that James left. The reminder I was playing with immortals. The reason that Edward and his brothers destroyed him. It was cold to the touch. It was never warm. It was like them. Cold, immortal.

I wanted to be like them. Alice had seen it. She had seen me as a vampire. She had told me so. I crawled back to my bed and held my hand. I felt closer to him, to Alice and everyone when I felt that little bit of cold. I needed that little bit of sanity.

Everyday felt like months had passed. I barely ate. I barely worked anymore. I just wanted to be alone. Alone with my thoughts, alone with my memories. When I closed my eyes it was him I always saw.

"Bella."

"Yes sir." I said answering right away.

"You didn't write a Christmas Wish for the jar. It is a tradition here at Forks High."

"Oh." I wasn't really paying much attention again.

The teacher handed me a blank slip of paper and waited for me to start writing. I wrote _'Bella's Wish'_ on the top and stopped. I had lots of things to be thankful for this holiday, but there was only one wish. One simple wish. My miracle wish.

_Edward._

I wanted Edward. I wanted my forever back. I wanted him. My mind raced. My emotions were resurfacing. _No_ I was not going to do this here. I didn't want to be upset here. I was not going to show the school that I was still hurting. _No_ I told myself pushing my thoughts to the side as I folded the paper and handed it back. I hadn't realized that I had written his name down. I needed to breathe. I needed to have fresh air. I bolted from the room as I heard the bell. Similar to what he had done the first time I had seen him in the classroom. I dropped my paper off as I went. I was acting like a mad woman. I stepped out side and exhaled. Air, fresh air.

I watched the other students come out of the rooms and start to head outside. It was snowing again. The usual rainy Forks had turned into snowy Forks. I started to head inside as the snowball fight brewed. I had just turned when I saw him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him. I looked away, then back again. What ever was there was gone. I headed to my truck instead and headed for home.

I pulled into the driveway a few minutes later and got out stepping gingerly onto the pavement. I was still quite clumsy. Even in my own little world. I closed the door with my back pack in one hand and my other gripping the truck for support in case it was icy.

"Let me take that for you." The musical angelic voice said. He took the bag and I turned around to see the face.

_Edward._

He was standing in the front of me with not a hair out of place. A small grin on his face as I let go of the bag. I looked at him and was about to step forward when all I saw was black.

It seemed like hours or days had passed when I woke. I was in my room with my back pack on the chair. A place I always put it. I shot up like a rocket. _Could that have really happened? Was I dreaming?_ Was he…. _Was he really standing in front of me?_ I looked around my room. Everything was the same. The window wasn't open. The books sat untouched on the shelf. Everything was the same.

I laid back into my pillows and closed my eyes. I was dreaming. I was dreaming he was in front of me. I must have passed out sleeping and had a dream. That was the only explanation. I didn't dare open my eyes quite yet. I needed to see that smile, the perfect hair, the angelic face. I needed to see it once more before it went into the vault of crazy dreams.

I played the moment in my head again. Then over and over again. I growled at myself to get up and go down stairs. I couldn't bring myself to get up yet though. Something was stopping me. Something was telling me to stay right here and wait. _Wait for what?_ I asked myself. I sat up again and started to get out of bed. I turned around looking at everything in sight. Everything that may confuse me was still the same as I had left it.

I slowly turned to the window as I stood up. It was still closed but he was standing there, still as a statue watching me. Watching me with curiosity.

"Bella?" the male voice said. My dream was talking to me now. He was saying my name. I needed to wake up. I needed…. "Bella." The man who looked and sounded like Edward said again.

I shook my head, blinked a few times shut my eyes and re-opened them. Then looked straight at him. He moved signaling me that he was real. But in my dreams he moves too. He came towards me and I gasped. He held out his hand and I felt the icy cold before he touched me. _My god_ I thought before I saw grey then everything faded to black.

* * *

**Tell me what you think of this story. As always please read and review they are much appreciated**

**Thanks**

**~munchkin1978~**


	2. Chapter 2

**All characters are Stephenie Meyers. I don't own them I wish I did ;o)**

**Well here is the second chapter. Sorry it took so long to get up. I am still writing the first story of my trilogy Future. I am also writing a new story that I will post soon as well called Why? Tell me what you think of this story. Do you like it? Hate it? Is it one that you will keep reading??? Read and review. They are always welcomed.**

**~munchkin1978**

**

* * *

  
**

**Christmas Wish**

**Chapter 2**

_Edward._

I had seen Edward. He was right here in front of me. He was the one calling my name. _He's the one who helped me. He's the one…. Wait if he helped me then that means….. That means he's…. _I gasped and sat straight up. My eyes flew open and searched my room again. He was at the window again standing still as the statue I knew he could be.

"Edward." I finally said out loud.

He didn't say anything back he just watched me.

"Oh crap. I knew it. I am seeing things. No wonder everyone stays away from me. I really am going bonkers." I was talking to myself. Something I did often these days.

I started to get up again and he moved. I stopped stepping gingerly on my feet. "Stop it Bella. I know you're not real. I know your not standing there. This is a dream. I am going cuckoo."

"You are not cuckoo Bella." The Edward look a like said.

"I'm going to pass out again. Maybe this time I'll wake up properly."

"You are awake Bella. Please look at me."

I did as my dream told me. I looked. His gaze was deep. His eyes pure gold, liquid gold. Perfection in small orbs. He started to come to me as I started to back up again.

"You…"

"I'm real Bella. I'm right here. It's not a dream."

"You… you left. You left me." I cried out. I hoped Charlie wasn't here to hear me like this. He would surely come running up to see this.

He didn't say anything. He looked ashamed. He looked like he needed to say something. He opened his mouth and then closed it again. His eyes never leaving my face.

"You don't have anything to say?" I asked anger starting to seep through.

"I…"

If he wasn't going to talk I was. _I needed to know why? Why he left? Why he left me the way he did?_ I needed answers to all my questions.

"I need to know. I need to know why?" I finally said holding the anger that was starting. He still was not saying anything, which was making me mad. He had all the answer's I wanted. The answer's that I needed to survive this.

"Bella, I shouldn't be here. I broke my promise. I promised to leave you alone."

"Don't you dare leave me again Edward. Do you know what your leaving did to me?" I didn't wait for an answer I kept going. "It crushed me. I was broken into a million little pieces. I don't feel whole anymore. I want answers. I need to know. I want to know why?"

"Bella, I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to ever get hurt again. That is why I left. I lied to keep you safe."

"You lied." I blurted out. He had lied to me to keep me safe. _No_ that had to be another lie. _How could I believe that? Was I so blinded by being in love that I believed it so easily?_

"I never wanted to hurt you. I am yours. You are my life. I can't live if you are not here. I made a huge mistake for leaving you. I should have stayed. We should have worked together. Now I'm afraid that I ruined us." I watched him turn away from me and head to the window. He looked out the window but didn't leave.

"I would have followed you anywhere Edward." I cried out. I didn't know what I was doing. I was mad, sad and happy. I was an utter mess.

"That is why I left. I needed you safe. I didn't want you hurt Bella."

"Did you not think to ask me what my opinion was? That maybe I could have helped."

"My mind was set Bella. The others had left by request of me."

"So what" I cried out again. "It had to do with me. I had a right to say what I wanted."

"I know that…" He turned back around and watched my emotions play on my face. I was mad at him. I was now very mad at him. He had no right to do this to me. I wanted my say.

"You can't just expect me to take you back Edward."

"I know that Bella. I will spend my entire existence begging for your forgiveness."

My emotions were catching up with me again. I felt light headed and stepped to the bed. I sat on the end and realized what was happening in front of me finally.

"Don't black out again Bella. You've done that twice today. I will have to take you to Carlisle to look after you."

_The family. The Cullen's_. Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper, poor Jasper. It wasn't his fault. He needed to know that. I shook off blacking out again. I needed to stay strong. I needed my wits about me.

"I never really left Bella. Well I did try and track Victoria for a week or two but nothing came from that. I am a horrible tracker." He tried to lighten the mood with one of his crooked smiles. I wasn't going to have it. I needed my answers before he dazzled me.

"Why did you let me be that way?" I paused. "They, Charlie and Renee wanted to send me to the nut house. They thought I had lost it. I didn't move for a week. Do you know who found me in the forest?"

"I know Bella. It is unfortunate a dog had to get you out. I would have come back for you. As soon as I left I wanted to come back for you. I wanted to whisk you away somewhere safe. I wanted to touch you. Feel you close like you always wanted to be. I will be eternally sorry for leaving you."

He looked at me with such remorse I couldn't help but believe him. He was telling me the truth. He was standing at the end of my bed making his way to me little by little. He finally kneeled before me on both knees and begged.

"Bella please, please tell me you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I lied to you and I want to make that up. Please..."

"I don't know…" I stopped myself. I wanted this. I wanted Edward. Why was I not saying yes? "I don't know if I can."

He looked into my eyes. The liquid gold swirling in the orbs that were starring at me. I looked away again, breaking the trance his eyes held on me. He stood up before I could blink.

"I'm not leaving you again Bella. I will prove to you I belong with you."

He turned from me and was gone in seconds. Leaving me with my thoughts. I was in shock. I was falling. I was… I needed air. I felt like I was clawing my way up out of the hole I was now in.

I stood up gingerly. I was still in shock and didn't know how long I would last on my feet. I went to the window. I looked into the forest across the way and there he stood watching me, watching him.

"You didn't have to leave." I said quietly. I didn't know if he heard me or not but he didn't move an inch to make me think so.

This was wrong. This is not how I pictured this happening. I needed Edward. I wanted Edward. He wanted me. He'd returned and I was the one who couldn't make her mind up. When I was so set in what I wanted from before. "Argh…" I growled at myself. I left the window open as an invitation to come back. I just hoped he would.

* * *

**Well what did you think of the second chapter? This is only going to be a short story as well. As always please read and review they are much appreciated**

**Thanks**

**~munchkin1978~**


	3. Chapter 3

**All characters are Stephenie Meyers. I don't own them I wish I did ;o)**

**Well here is the third chapter. I am going to type as much as I can for this story this week. I may get it finished off too. Keep your eyes out for Why? It is my new story. I may just have to give you a preview of it. Please Read and review. They are always welcomed.**

**~munchkin1978**

**

* * *

  
**

**Christmas Wish**

**Chapter 3**

The next morning I woke with a start. I remembered everything from the night before. Only I didn't know if it was real or not. I decided to keep my thoughts of last night to myself for awhile. If I told Charlie he'd definitely take me to the nut house. I dressed quickly and headed to my truck. I was about to get in when I found him sitting there.

"Bella."

I just about melted. His sweet angelic voice purred out my name like he had been saying it for years. "Edward." I whispered out. "I am dreaming again aren't I?"

"No you are not dreaming love."

"I'm going to be late for school."

"Get in. _We_ are going to be late for school."

"_We?_"

"I re-enrolled."

"Oh."

"Get in Bella. I'm driving. In the state you're in right now you would get into an accident."

"Fine." I wasn't going to argue. I got into the other side and closed the door. I didn't say anything and nor did he. I watched him. His face hadn't changed. I knew it never would. I looked away and at the scar on my hand before I finally spoke. "Why now?"

"I couldn't let you be this way Bella. I love you to much to stay away from you any longer."

"Why not earlier?"

"I needed to let you live your life first. I couldn't take you away from that."

"I wanted to be with you Edward. Forever." I looked up from my hands. "I still do." He turned towards me taking his eyes off the road.

"Road Edward."

"Built in detector. Remember."

God did I ever remember. How could I forget. I was the only mind he couldn't read. "I remember."

We got to the school and I stepped out of the truck and stood and waited. People where watching as Edward got out. They were whispering. It was just like when we started being together.

"People are starring you know." I said.

"I know. Do you care?"

"Not really. They have been like that since you left. Here or not they whisper." I grumbled. I didn't like it but I wasn't going to let it bother me.

"Well let them. I will hear if they say something that is inappropriate."

We walked together, but not hand in hand yet. I still had not forgiven him for leaving. Besides he had some more explaining as to why he left in the first place. I was not going to buy me having to live my life.

Edward ended up in a few of my classes. The same ones as when he had left originally. At lunch I noticed the Cullen family was missing. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were a year ahead of us. Alice however came bouncing over immediately.

"Bella. Oh Bella I missed you so much."

"I missed you too."

"Forgive me please for not saying goodbye. I was forced to leave." She was glaring at Edward with hateful eyes.

"Forgiven." I missed Alice. She was fast becoming my best friend before the Cullen's had left. "However your brother still has explaining to do." I said a small smile on my face. I wasn't going to jump into the way we were just yet. Things had to be made right and going back to the way we were wouldn't help that.

"It will be done. I wouldn't have it any other way." He said from behind me.

I did find myself by the end of lunch falling into our old routine. I know Edward noticed it as well and tried to stop. It was going to be hard for us.

Edward ended up taking me home after school and Alice followed behind in his Volvo. Charlie was home and met me at the door. Concern written all over his face.

"What is the matter dad?"

"Harry is ill. Been to see 3 heart doctors now. It has me worried."

"Sorry dad."

"It's nothing kid. I do have to ask you something."

I hoped he didn't see Edward in the truck. "Sure what is it dad?"

"Did you know the Cullen's were back?" _Uh-oh did he see him?_

I stopped and for Charlie's sake I dropped my keys slowly picking them back up off the floor. "No. When did they come back?"

"Yesterday. Carlisle was at the hospital today. He got his old job back."

"That is good. What does it have to do with me?"

"You're not to see him. I don't want to see you hurt again Bella. I can't handle it again."

"Okay dad." Boy he was in for a rude surprise when he saw me with Edward. We would have to make sure that didn't happen quite yet. How was I going to explain that I had seen him already? He loved Alice. But Edward he'd love to shoot and kill with his own gun for hurting me. Well maybe that was going a little far, but knowing Charlie I probably got it right.

"Is Harry going to be alright dad?"

"I'm sure he is. Just pre-cautionary."

"Okay dad."

I slipped by him heading to my room before supper. Charlie was letting me off the hook for cooking today. It was pizza night. It was pizza night most nights if I didn't cook. I flung my window open and headed down to eat. I grabbed a few slices and tried to eat them as fast as I could.

"Where is the fire Bella?"

"There is no fire dad. I just feel better today."

"I'm glad about you feeling better but something is up."

"You said the Cullen's were back right. I want to go see Alice." I said. I wasn't really telling a lie. I did want to see Alice but upstairs was somebody a little more important.

"It's late Bells. I'm sure you will see her at school."

_Uh-oh._ Charlie had noticed I was in a hurry and my mood change. That was not a good thing. That means he will start to poke around a little bit. To be on the safe side better not leave tonight.

"Okay dad. I'll stay in. I have some homework to catch up on."

I stepped out of the kitchen and headed upstairs. Waiting by the window was Edward. He'd changed his clothes.

"You changed. Why?"

"After all the hiding out I felt yucky."

"You still have some explaining to do."

"I know."

"So start at the beginning. I've got all night."

"Your not going to like this much Bella."

"I can handle it. I've done pretty good handling things in the last few months." He was stalling. He was keeping something from me. A secret.

* * *

**Well what did you think of this chapter? Not a lot in it but it was a filler. As always please read and review they are much appreciated**

**Thanks**

**~munchkin1978~**


	4. Chapter 4

**All characters are Stephenie Meyers. I don't own them I wish I did ;o)**

**This is a long chapter for my writing. I hope you like it. It is make up time. But read on please to find out the outcome. I hope you like this chapter. I hummed and hawed over it for a little. And I edited a lot. I like what is left. Please Read and review. They are always welcomed.**

**~munchkin1978**

**

* * *

  
**

**Christmas Wish**

**Chapter 4**

"You're keeping something from me?"

"It's keeping you safe Bella."

"If it has to do with me tell me please."

"You'll freak out."

"I don't care. I don't want secrets. I don't want to have any secrets between us. I want to know why you left. Why you left me the way you did." I was starting to get louder and quickly fixed my volume. I was getting mad. Something I hadn't really done yet.

"I left you to pull Victoria away from you. I was tracking her. She is the one who told James where you were in Arizona. I couldn't let her near you. I couldn't let her hurt you like James did." He was speaking softly now.

"You didn't have to leave Edward." I said just as soft as he had.

"I didn't want to. I wanted to keep you safe. I should have stayed with you. She's been here watching you. Waiting for you to be alone. Till I came back of course. I can smell her out in the forest. It's faint but she's been there."

_James and Victoria._

Victoria was the only one that remained. She was after me. This was the first had heard of it. I had no idea. Laurent the other one was in Alaska. With the other vegetarian vampires. Carlisle had sent him there so he could part ways with James and Victoria. Edward and his brothers had killed James when I ran with Alice and Jasper to Arizona. I looked at my hand and the scar I had throbbed as if it knew we were talking about that time. I closed my hand around the crescent moon shape and made my hand into a fist, throwing it down to my side. I pushed all thoughts from my mind

"Why me?" I finally asked.

"I killed James." He said quietly. "She wants revenge." He stopped for a moment only to continue. "She wants revenge probably by doing the same thing that we did to her."

"If you knew she would go after me, why did you leave then?"

"I wanted to draw her away so she'd leave you alone Bella. Make her think we were not together anymore so she would leave. I know I shouldn't have lied to you and left you. That lie was the hardest most awful thing I've ever done. And to do it to the one I will love forever was even worse. As soon as it was done I regretted it. I regretted leaving you in the forest. I regretted saying goodbye."

His eyes told me he was sorry he'd done it. They were searching, longing and remorseful. His golden eyes told me that he loved me still and would forever the deeper I looked into them. My anger started to subside significantly before I let a small smile through. I sat down on the bed. _How could I have believed such a lie?_ I looked at my hands and back to his face. The expression didn't change. He was hurting. Hurting by admission of hurting me.

"Do you … Do you want me still?" I needed to know since he told me he didn't want me in the forest. I needed to know if that was part of the lie.

"Everything I have in me wants you Bella. I lied to you. I can't take that back. I want you and only you. You need to believe that."

"How can I?" I paused. "When the lie you told me is making me doubt you." I said quietly. I didn't want the tears to come. I wanted to do this and get it out without crying.

"Know that I was lying to myself too." He paused. "Do you still want me Bella?" He reversed my question on me.

I didn't answer him. It wasn't a question of want. _Yes_ I wanted Edward. It was a question of if I could get past the lie. "Yes I do still want you Edward. I always will."

"Why the questions now? We both want this." He said.

"I may want you Edward but that simple little lie is what I can't get past. How am I to trust you? How do I know what's real and what you're not telling me correctly?"

"I'll promise you something right now. If I ever…. Ever lie to you again, you can take me to the Volturi and have me killed."

"The Volturi?" I questioned him. _What on earth was that? Some vampire cult that kills their own?_

"The rule makers and breakers. We were watching Romeo and Juliet when I mentioned them to you. You saw the picture in Carlisle's office. Do you remember?"

"Oh yes I remember." I did remember now. The three creepy looking vampires in the picture with Carlisle. We were getting off topic. "Enough. If you promise to never lie to me again, I need you to promise me something else."

"Anything."

"Don't ever leave again. I don't think I could handle that again."

"I won't leave again, and if I do you're coming with me."

I processed what he had just told me. _Could he have really been that way? Could he really want me as safe as he claimed?_ I know he did. I know he loves me and will forever. There could be no more lies between us. This was what I wanted. I wanted Edward. I wanted to be with him. I wanted everything to do with him.

"Okay." I paused. "I forgive you. But there is a condition." I said.

"Anything."

"I want…" I paused. He did say anything. "I want you to change me Edward."

"Bella, I won't take your life away."

"You said anything Edward. That is my condition. I want you to change me."

He was watching me with his golden eyes. Looking for a way out of his _'anything'_ comment. "I don't know if I can do that Bella." He finally said.

"Seems we are at the same impasse again."

"Why do you want to be like me Bella? You don't want to end your life. You should want to live your life."

"I don't care about my life if it's not with you." I stood up and straightened myself before I spoke again. "I want you Edward. I never stopped. You may have lied but I will always want you. It is my choice." I walked over to where he was and stood in front of him. "I want you Edward. You are my forever. I'd like to live forever with you."

Edward pushed himself off the wall and stood up straight. He was watching me with his liquid eyes that were slowly coming back from a moment of black to gold.

"You don't think I should think this way do you?" I asked him.

"No. You should want to live your life with me in it."

"I do want to live my life with you in it." I paused watching him still. "I want to live it forever with you. Don't you see I can't live forever Edward. I can't be there with you forever."

"I told you I'd follow shortly after." He said quietly.

"I don't want us to die Edward. That is what forever is. Forever is living."

"Why can't you see my side of it?"

"Because like you, I have my mind made up."

"Before you didn't know?"

"I knew but I didn't know how much. Now I do. I made my choice Edward. My choice is you."

He put his hands to his side and I grabbed them. He didn't flinch. He was reading my emotions. I shivered at the window being open and he closed it with his one hand I had freed. He placed his hands on my arms and rubbed them. Trying to create some friction for heat.

"You'll be cold Bella."

"I don't care."

"I don't want you to freeze."

"I don't care Edward."

I wanted him close. I wanted this for so long. I had dreams of this. I leaned into his chest and he finally wrapped his arms around me sighing quietly.

"Bella love."

"I'm not moving." I simply stated to him. I knew he could pick me up and move me if he wanted but he stayed with his arms wrapped around me. I smelled his icy skin and melted into his arms. I was where I wanted to be. I placed a small kiss on his neck and I smiled. Edward pulled me closer. I could tell he wanted this as much as I did. We both missed this.

"Thank you." He said after a while.

"Hmm."

"Thank you for wanting us to work. I would have fought for you. Fought for us."

"You won't ever have to fight for me Edward. I'm yours. I always will be."

"Still, thank you."

He reached down and brushed my lips with his and pulled back. He was being careful just in case I changed my mind. I was happy where I was. I wasn't changing my mind. I pulled up on my tip toes and kissed him. I wanted him and he was being his usual careful self. In a split second something changed. He kissed me back with as much force as I was. Carefulness gone his mood reflected mine. He wanted me too.

"Bella." He said between the kisses. "We need to stop before it goes too far."

There it was. The carefulness was back. I didn't want to be careful now. I just got you back. "I don't care."

"You will if you get hurt." He told me.

"I know you Edward. You won't hurt me." I told him back.

He looked at me. He could see I wanted this. He could see I wanted him. "You have to tell me if I hurt you."

Something in me changed. I didn't care if I got hurt. I just wanted him. Lies or not. I just wanted him and being with him. I left him standing there and locked my bedroom door. I came back and kissed him again.

"Bella are you sure? Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes." If I could yell it with out Charlie hearing I would have yelled it.

I wanted this. I wanted him. He kissed me back and I could feel my lips swelling. I didn't care, I wanted this. I wanted him to feel everything I was. He led me to the bed pulling at our clothes as we went. He pulled me up onto him and continued where we had just left off moments ago.

"You're sure." He asked again through the heated kisses.

I didn't answer him. I just pulled my shirt off and continued my assault of him. He flipped me over being as careful as he could not to hurt me and removed the rest of my clothing piece by piece. It was as if our instincts took over. Everything in the past was the past. The only time was now and what we were about to do.

"I want you Edward." I said as he opened his mouth to ask it again. He closed it again and continued taking off his clothes. He wrapped the blanket around both of us to keep me warmer than he was. He was trailing his kisses down my sides and when he stopped he entered me. He came back to my waiting mouth and kissed me again as he forced past my virginity. The pace became quicker and I could smell my own blood as it trickled over both of us. If I could smell it then he certainly could. He was calm, he didn't move. He was being as gentle as he could be without loosing control. I cried out not in pain but in pleasure and as soon as I had he was not much farther behind. He muffled his cry in my pillow and when he collapsed on the bed beside me he wrapped the blanket fully around me.

"Bella I…"

"Don't you say sorry." I told him with my eyes closed. I was blissfully happy.

He looked at me and kissed my already swollen lips. "I wasn't going to say sorry. I was going to say you're incredible. I never dreamed in a million years I wouldn't loose control and be able to be with you like that." He told me in my ear in a whisper.

I opened my eyes to look at him and then closed them again. He kissed me again before he got up out of the bed and dressed. He opened my bedroom door and disappeared. He re-appeared holding a wet cloth and proceeded to clean up the blood that was starting to dry on my skin. He was cleaning the same blood that usually makes him…..

"You're not flinching." I said alarmed now.

"Being apart from you changed that. I still want your blood but I have full control of it. I could never hurt you Bella."

I moaned as he finished cleaning me up. I stood up and dressed as well with him watching. I would be sore tomorrow but I didn't care. I got what I wanted. I got Edward.

* * *

**This is a long chapter for me. I liked it. But I put this story in the mature section because I wanted to write a little bit more. It is make up sex every couple goes through it. Why not them? Starting next week all updates will be done on Wednesdays. Well at least for the month of September. I have that day off of work but now I have to work Saturdays. So enjoy! As always please read and review they are much appreciated**

**Thanks**

**~munchkin1978~**


	5. Chapter 5

**All characters are Stephenie Meyers. I don't own them I wish I did ;o)**

**Another quite long one. Not as long as the last one. But still long for me. I hope the last chapter was good for you! This one is lemon free but still good. I will be updating again next Wednesday. But maybe tomorrow if I can. We will see. Please Read and review. They are always welcomed.**

**~munchkin1978**

**

* * *

  
**

**Christmas Wish**

**Chapter 5**

I felt cold yet warm as I could feel I was wrapped in my comforter, still in his arms. I opened my eyes and he was starring at me. He hadn't spoken yet so maybe I was still dreaming. I didn't know.

"Good morning love. You better get up or we will be late for school."

_School._

_Crap_.

I wanted to stay here all day. I was still blissfully happy from last night. I wanted to relive last night. I wanted to stay curled up in Edwards's arms. I wanted to feel him close. I wanted everything to stay as it was right now.

"Do we have to?" I grumbled out.

"To keep up pretences, yes."

"Oh alright. I don't want to though."

I unwrapped myself from the blanket and made my way to the bathroom. I hurried along making sure my shower was short. I was ready and both Alice and Edward were out by the Volvo. I got into the front as Alice got in the back and Edward drove as usual. Legally we should have got to school in 10 or 15 minutes. Five minutes was pushing the speed limit extremely far, but no one saw us. Edward had built in radar. We were driving to quickly for anyone to notice us anyhow.

Once he put the car in park he came around the car at a normal human speed and opened my door for me. Then he did Alice's. Then people started to stare again. I grumbled noting my distaste for the other student's imaginations.

"They are wondering if we are back for good this time, and if we are back together." He told me.

"Now they are wondering." I grumbled again. Alice had taken up stride with me as I walked towards the school. Edward was on the other side with his hand in mind.

"Bella. Esme and Carlisle want you to come to the house today. They want to see you." Edward said opening the school door for both Alice and I.

"Okay." I paused. "I'll need my truck, since Charlie thinks I took it to school this morning." I said with a smile. We were going to be doing this again it seemed.

"I'm sure Alice will get it for you. Won't you Alice?"

"Anything for Bella. I'm still mad at you for making me leave." Alice said with a pout.

"Thanks Alice." I told her. "You should forgive your brother. I have now."

"I know. I saw it." Alice said as she headed off to her class as the bell rang.

Edward and I went to our class. Biology. We sat at the same table as last year. Something we would do until the end of the year no doubt. I could see Mike out of the corner of my eye and he didn't look happy that Edward was back. I sat down on the stool and cringed. The previous nights activity was coming back to haunt me today. I stood and sat gingerly again. This unfortunately didn't go unnoticed by both Mike and Edward. Both were starring at me.

"I'm sore Edward. Don't worry please. I'm okay." I told him. He of course didn't believe me. He inched his chair closer and listened to my heart beat. I could tell because his pen was tapping on the table top every time my heart had a beat. I stole a glance at him making my heart jump and his pen skip a beat on the table. I smiled. I had caught him.

By the end of class we were sitting side by side with inches apart. The hour long class hadn't sunk in. I was too busy moving my chair and paying attention to Edward. I stood with the bell. Something Edward used to do in the beginning and headed for the door. The teacher asked Edward to stay behind for a few moments for some catch up material. I told him I'd wait outside for him. That apparently gave Mike the chance to talk to me.

"Bella?"

"Yes Mike?"

"Cullen's back for good?"

"Yes."

"You two make up?" He was fishing for information.

"Yes."

"You okay?"

"Yes why?"

"You looked a bit touch and go there for a while when class started."

"I'm okay Mike. You don't have to worry about me. I'm better now. Actually better than okay. Edward came back for me."

"He still looks at you like…"

"Like what Mike?" _If he said it again…_

"Well don't get upset okay. But he looks like he wants to eat you still."

"He is protective of me. He knows how clumsy I am Mike."

"Okay. I'll back off. As long as you're okay."

"I'm okay."

"Everything okay Bella?" Edward asked snaking his arms around my waist and kissing my temple.

"Yes. Mike just checking on me. He is the first to ask if I was okay." He technically was. No body had really asked me that besides the doctors. I relaxed into Edward's grasp and looked up at Mike. He didn't look pleased. "I'll see you later Mike. Okay."

"Okay Bella. Edward." He said as he left.

The rest of the day I wondered what Mike had really thought. I knew he liked me. I knew he wanted the Cullen's away from me. I just didn't like him back that way. I loved Edward. Nobody or nothing would change that. Once we were headed to the car to wait for Alice I called him on his mind reading.

"What was Mike thinking earlier?"

"He's frustrated because he missed his chance with you, while I was supposedly gone."

"What is he thinking now?"

"He's wishing he had the nerve to say how much he cares for you."

"That's nice. But he'll never get me away from you."

"Well I can't blame him for trying. You are beautiful."

"No I'm not. I'm too plain."

"You're the most beautiful human I have seen Bella. You don't compare to the vampires."

I closed my mouth and bit back the comment I was going to make. I'm sure I wasn't but I held it in. Rosalie was on person I'd never match up to. "Your bias Edward."

"So what if I am. I only want you."

I smiled at him as he opened my door for me. I kissed him on the cheek and sat down without a word. Alice came bouncing in moments later.

"Bella where are your keys?"

"In the front hall. Please be very careful with my truck. It's old and a senior citizen." I laughed at the analogy.

"I will. Why does everyone say that?" She grumbled as we pulled out of the parking lot. After a few minutes I watched her leave the moving car and head to my house to get my truck. Edward didn't even need to stop for her. She just opened the door and hopped out.

Edward and I continued onto the Cullen's house. On the porch in t-shirt was Emmett with Rosalie pouting behind him. Jasper stood in the doorway shielding himself from my gaze. He still blamed himself. I would make amends here before we all settled back into the house.

I got out of the car and Edward closed the door behind me. He let me walk forward first because Emmett was coming down at a rather non human pace. I stepped back and he stopped grabbing me into a big bear hug.

"Hi Emmett." My voice was muffled because I couldn't get my mouth out from being squashed against his chest.

"How's my little sister?"

"I'm not your little sister yet."

"Emmett put Bella down your going to crush her." Edward said from behind me.

"Oh alright." I watched as Emmett and Edward started throwing punches at each other. I heard Rosalie grumble out loud and head into the house. I heard my truck next. It was going at a normal speed when Alice pulled it to a stop and cut the ignition. She got out a moment later and handed me the keys. I watched as Jasper came to her but stayed away from me as much as he could.

"Jasper." I paused to look at him. "It's alright. I don't blame you at all. It's in the past. Please don't blame yourself for what happened."

I knew he could tell I wasn't trying to placate him. It was in the past. Something I don't want to relive. He looked at me and his pale features had a small smile on it. He was contemplating my statement.

"Bella let me apologize to you first. I'm sorry. I usually don't react that way. Second thank you for forgiving me before the apology. And third it won't happen again. I have better control now."

"I don't blame you in the least Jasper. It happened. It's in the past. Let's leave it there okay."

"Agreed."

"Let's go inside. I'm getting cold." I shivered and Edward ushered me inside in an instant. I reached the porch before Alice pulled me all the way inside. In the door way was Rosalie talking with Esme and Carlisle. I waited till they were done before stepping over the threshold and into Esme's open arms for a hug.

"Bella." She gasped. "Bella I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too Esme."

"It didn't feel the same around here without you."

"Same here." I said

Carlisle was next. He hugged me and he put me back into Edward's arms. He smiled and spoke next. "Bella you were like our missing daughter. It's good to have you home."

"Thanks."

I curled up with Edward on the couch as he spoke with Carlisle. Esme was working on some designs. Rosalie was still pouting but in the room not wanting to be left out. Alice had curled up with Jasper. Everything seemed to be back to normal. Until Edward flinched.

* * *

**Took a day off of typing yesterday. My stupid bar fridge had to be defrosted and the water was making its way to my computer. But all is well now. The computer is safe!!!! Hope you like this chapter. As always please read and review they are much appreciated**

**Thanks**

**~munchkin1978~**


End file.
